COPING AS A CAREGIVER

The word hero comes from the Greek meaning to watch over and protect. Today's world is full of heroes—caregivers. They are the wives, husbands, daughters, sons, sisters, and brothers of Alzheimer's patients. They didn't apply for the job. They didn't even seek it. In most cases, the caregiver faces the job without qualifications—no education, no experience. They just see the need and dive in. Very often there is little time to prepare and the on-the-job training can be overwhelming.

Whether you are a family member, friend, healthcare professional, doctor, or nurse, it is of paramount importance to provide support to the primary caregiver. It is equally important for the caregivers to take care of themselves. Below is a list of suggestions for the caregiver and for the friends and families of caregivers.

Ask for help

Know the resources and services that are available. By getting the best care possible for your loved one with Alzheimer's disease, you will also be able to have a life of your own.

Give help

If you see that the primary caregiver is overly tired, stressed, or irritable, do something. Very often, a caregiver will not ask for help because it may seem like failure. Don't let this happen. Step in. Offer—don't ask. Tell them you will be there on Tuesday from noon to 3:00 pm to take care of grandpa. Give the caregiver some time off.

Take care of yourself

If you are tired, worn out, or overwhelmed, it will affect your ability to take care of your loved one with Alzheimer's disease. Take time for you. Make time to do the things that are relaxing for you—shop, play golf, visit with friends. Attend an Alzheimer's support group.

Take care of the caregiver

Show interest and simply listen to the caregiver. Be a sounding board, an understanding ear. Step in when you see the need. Go to an Alzheimer's support group with the caregiver.

Educate yourself

Someone once said that knowledge is the antidote for fear. Fearing the unknown can be remedied by educating ourselves. Find out all you can about Alzheimer's. Listen to other caregivers. Find out what works for them and share your experiences. Remember, you are not alone. Find out information on www.alz.org or contact your local Alzheimer's Association.

Participate in the caregiver's education

Show support to the caregiver by finding out all you can about Alzheimer's. Let the caregiver know that you are interested in educating yourself. Talk about what you have learned and create a dialogue with the caregiver.

Give yourself credit

You are a hero. The time will come when you will not be able to care for your loved one. When this happens, and it will, don't let guilt take control. Grieve what you have lost, but also focus on the wonderful memories you have created during the time spent with your loved one.

Give other caregivers credit, too

Let each and every caregiver know that you respect what they have accomplished. Watch for indications of stress and depression. When it is apparent that the caregiver can no longer take care of their loved one, be there. Help with the decision-making process and provide emotional and practical support as needed.