ADVICE FOR CAREGIVERS

Becoming the caregiver

As the disease progresses, role reversal will take place. Making financial decisions, taking care of legal matters, balancing a checkbook, or completing simple household chores will become a challenge for the Alzheimer's patient. It is important that these issues be decided upon and addressed at the time of diagnosis. Do not hesitate to turn to family, friends, professionals, and community resources for assistance.

You are not alone

When a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, everything changes—the future, relationships, plans, daily activities—life takes a different path. Finding our way down that path as a caregiver can be difficult and scattered with obstacles, grief, conflict, and frustration. As you navigate through what may seem like an overwhelming maze, remember that you are not alone and you don't have to go through this alone. There are wonderful resources available on local, state, and national levels that are there to help family members and caregivers cope with the diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

You may want to start by visiting some of the online resources we have listed.

Take the initiative

As the caregiver, you may feel isolated socially. Very often when a person is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, friends and family pull back. This doesn't mean that they don't care. It probably means that they don't know what to say or do. Take the initiative to contact family and friends and educate them about the disease. Let them know that your life may have changed in some ways, but you want them to remain a part of it. Invite friends or family to your home. Let them know in advance what to expect both physically and emotionally. Give them suggestions about how to relate to the patient and suggest some activities. Let them know that no matter how the Alzheimer's patient may react, they can still feel love and kindness.

Bring the family together

Family conflicts may develop because we all grieve and cope differently, especially when we are faced with decisions that need to be made in all areas of the Alzheimer's patient's life. There may be disagreements about care, sharing caregiving responsibilities, financial decisions—basically, what to do and how to do it. The first step is getting past denial of what is happening and coming together as a family to decide on a plan of action.

Bring the family together to discuss openly and honestly all of your concerns and responsibilities. Be aware that we are all different and have individual resources and skills. Different family members may be capable of handling specific aspects of the care plan according to the time available and their abilities. Meet regularly to discuss how the plan is going and how the Alzheimer's patient and primary caregiver are doing.